Transcendence...ephemeral, fleeting,attainable?

Have you ever contemplated the darkness of a tunnel?? The probing minds which must have transgressed its limitless ness? The groping hands which must have searched its boundless ness? The aspiring hearts which must have plunged into its nihilism?


She encountered the end of the abyss.She touched ground zero.She is the darkness.

She has no golden halo.Just a probing mind, a groping hand and an aspiring heart.She lives in the mortal fear of the dark.Of the other groping hand which wants to touch her, the inquisitive mind which wants to penetrate through her, the overwhelmed heart which wants to possess her.

She lives a life of feared desires, fettered wishes and un expressed feelings.She should breakfree...soon.Before the last grains of sands of time slip and pass through her nimble fingers, returning to the dust, at the end of the abyss.

Bored?

Boredom.Its a strange thing.Sometimes when life is zipping past you at an unstoppable pace you hope and wish for moments of boredom. Boredom can be a good comforting break from the tenacious grip of our mechanical existance.Soothing and therapeutic for frayed nerves and numbed mind.
But that is essentially "sometimes".Normally Boredom can strike you at the most unexpected times. Or is it just me? I've felt it innumerable times..Right in the middle of reading a Newspaper or a captivating thriller, watching a romantic mush-flick or Friends, talking to my friend or even eating the yummiest food.Have you never felt that overpowering urge which compels and cajoles you into just chucking everything? When you yearn for that one moment of stasis which can just let things be the way they are? Stiffened,static,paralysed,irreversible??
Boredom I have figured is very rarely a palliative.It is a lethal arsenal which more than often is destructive.It makes you lugubrious and sore, unproductive and disturbed.I hate being bored. Boredom for me encompasses not only being bored with things or activities, but taste,variety and even people.Boredom with things may make you realise how limited you are in skill and interests. But boredom with the world only reinforces my faith in solitude. Man is a social animal..for most part of my life I'll play the part of the animal, for the rest of it let me just be.

Current mood:embittered for no apparent reason.

Horizons

I feel like I've lived a lifetime
I stand at the threshold of another..
I see it unfolding on the palm of my hand.
Like Sybil I'd want to squiggle in all the sand that i can
Can all my memories, seal all my friendships and obliterate all by-gone pain.
But memories dont leave you friends rarely forget you and a trifle pain always remains.
All that is exactly what makes life worth living again and over again.
And who says you live life just once...its a different life at every new turn, in every new book, in every new face, in every new friend.
Its a new day with every new sunrise and i stare longingly...into the far horizons.

How Rakhi got kissed got wild and lost the little life she had!

Applauses haven't sounded yet again.Accolades haven't rung all over again! But our (in)famous "the new hot thing" "the sizzling beauty" "THE ITEM GIRL" has not done us proud again! They always manage to make it to the headlines...for all the wrong reasons of course.

Whether it was Shefali zaariwala or Deepal shaw...a splash in the tabloids is essential every now and then.How else will we remain "hooked" on to them? After all we are the aam junta..n public memory is short lived ...very short. After Shilpa Shetty hurt public sentiments down south with her vulgarly draped sari..Apni mumbai ki gori probably felt sidelined and lacklustre. So what better way to penetrate back into the fading memory of us privileged viewers??

Of course its the tried and tested formula...erupt a sensational scandal..touch the public sentiment where it hurts the most and then create a ruckus about Indian morality and ethics. So what better chord to touch rather than the aeons old "abla naari" sentiment. Rakhi Sawants a pro..she's outdone her fellow "items". A little mud might be splashed around but she's confident of emerging out of the shutterbug smooch episode unharmed...quite as the sati savitri. After all as she defiantly proclaims.."I am an innocent Indian woman and no one can attack my dignity like that"

Does she even merit dignity? Well some women's organizations seem to think so,after all she is the "new Indian woman", the face of the modern India. Why then is the Maharastra government banning her shows all over the state? Well may be they'd rather that Mika perform. But the whole incident is quite ridiculous. Rakhi Sawant can bare it all on screen for hundreds of viewers and she cant handle a moronical man at a party and keep her dignity with herself.But alas..how can that be? She has to get her sheen back..her image has to be revitalised for us!

And of course the reservations,oil hikes and govt policy changes are trivial and inconsequential. Rakhi with her plunging necklines,Mika with his macho looks and Tiger with his flexed muscles are our heros for the day. Well thats what the papers seems to endorse..why else would they waste realms n realms of paper on the trysts of these insignificant earthlings from never neverland??

Till then we shall just wait and watch if Mika n Tiger ever do go to meet Rakhi and her mommy for chai...I'm sure the papers will be there to catch the moment when they kiss and make up. Now isnt that Front page Headlines material!!!

IMAGINE...?!

i cant imagine...im imaginatively handicapped.

i wonder why i cant imagine.what does it take to imagine? a creative wandering mind? a free restless spirit? or intelligence? formulaic intelligence? two plus two is always four..or can it be something more or something less?

i try to be a free falling leaf...but am sucked to the vortex by that force which you call gravity...

it lends me no sense of temerity but leaves me crumpled with a sense of futility

i try to be a shining star...but im left faded in the glory of the blazing sun..

i try to be the lily of the valley but am left withered in the pulchritude of the orchid..

i try to be something and am left overpowered by the vast void of nothing..

i cant be you...i cant be her..i cant be the orphan i cant be the urchin

i cant be something you want to see

i can show you the world through my eyes,it may be tainted,it may be lies
i can resurrect a new world from these fragments
entwined enriched woven by my imagination..
the orphan may be happpy the urchin may be rich
i can show you what you would want to see.
deploy my observations employ my deductions.
shrinking my imagination to mere reduction?

imagine?

but what is the use?

tickles your senses, goads your wishes

shatters reality? mystifies eternity?

i can spur my imagination and create a mighty din

but i have to be me before i am you, her or him.

and if i do imagine about the world at large what will you be left with?

ramblings , musings rantings...nothing but my ruminations.

imagination is but a worm...

im happy with just my ruminations..

im not selfish im not depraved..

im just human with nothing much to rave

and all these faults i know i'll carry right into my grave.

(state of mind: stubbornly incorrigible)

Concoctions on a Highway.

Zeus’ wand struck the pouting cloud
The firmament gurgitated with a howl
He ripped open it’s treasure cove
And battered the city with crystal drops
Hespera reached out for her resplendent veil
Clothing the evening in a fatal black.
Zephyr conspired to float it adrift
But the cascading army stayed on by Jove’s grit.

A million crystals splattered onto the parched ground
Turning the dusty gray into a star spangled black
Motor chariots trudged along the gleaming asphalt
The amber, ruby and emerald came to a halt.
Each crystal a golden drop now suspended…Only to drop burst scatter....forever.. ended

Names and more..

So some posts ago i elucidated how preposterous names could get back home.Now seriously i wasnt "trying" to be funny. All that was true!So now as the ultimate stamp of authenticity i would like to draw your(yess yess u 2/3 jobless souls) kind attention to a not-so-new party of my acclaimed homeland. It is lovingly Accronymed and called DIC(K). Not even DIC-K but DIC(K) I always thought of it as Tom-Dick and Harry...but to actually christen a party!!I'm not being perverted or insolent. I genuinely find it an unworthy accronym for the party. What is more paradoxical is what it stands for...kudos to the father n son for surviving the elections miserably.

There are innumerable things that amuse me about Kerala.Politics is almost a religion to every adult there. And not being religious is not cool.Ignorance is sacrilege.The newspaper is not far behind the Bible.Every friendly tea shop discussion is a sermon. And participation in locally organized political rallies and processions is as crucial as the Sunday Mass. And if you thought that it was just a male bastion..you are grossly mistaken. Women are as ardent political enthusiasts as men. What seems to be emerging now is a much awaited new wave of feminine awakening where the "house wife" is also a member of Kudumbashri. A panchayat level organization exclusively for and by women. I'd only read how political awakening is essential at the grass root levels. Its no myth...the seed has sprouted and the roots have spread.They cant nip away the blade now.

Kerala not just Gods own country....my country.

(sycophanting??? next post shall most certainly be kerala bashing!)

The Annual exodus to the "native land" beckons me....
Eagerly??? not so eager? i dont know.
But I shall be back to fill this space with refreshing words of rain kissed mornings and lush green trees , sparkling streams and wet soaked mud....and all those little things I forget to even notice in my mechanical urban existance.

Bleak and Blue

"Some day after we have mastered the air , the winds the tide and gravity,we will harness for God the energies of love.And then for the second time in the history of the world man will have discovered fire."
Teilhard De Chardin

The day seems close enough....we've soared the skies, skimmed the seas ,defied gravity.
Yet those stark reminders..denying our mastership...tsunamis, Katrinas and other moments of depravity.
The day seems close enough..yet the promise of love remains unfulfilled.
Man may have discovered it a first and a second time but he's extinguished it himself...time and again. It just needs to be re-ignited...cant you see?? not re- discovered!
We will harness for God and Man the energies of love.

Whats the NAME of the game??

Hi! Whats your name?

So whats in a NAME? Isnt it just another four lettered noun of the English language? Quite inconsequential from a linguist's point of view.But not so for the individual.A name most often is the most vital element of one's personality.Constituting your sense of selfhood and identity. It could add to ur persona or diminish it. Ok so now that i have tried to establish some kind of seriousness i shall stop sounding like a self help manual. Basically your name is Quite important..its what the world out there knows you and calls you by! And you dont really want to feel embarassed everytime you hear it echoing through the stale air of a crowded local or through the pristine air of old mountains(eg:Echo point of any Hill station is an outstanding possiblity)

So considering we live by this "name" from well almost the beginning of our being till the day we are shoved into the grave why should others be given the cumbersome responsibilty of "Christening" us for life? I ask this not because I dont like my own name...but have come across quite a few funny unlikely names.

Tom and Harry are fine..but Dick? Goldilocks and Snow White were bad enough so now why Sona,Heera,Ruby, Amber and Sparkles? Ok i know these are matters of personal choice..but LESBIA?????
What were they thinking? My sister often used to speak about a Lesbia who kept getting into trouble in school and her name would invariably cackle over the PA system every alternate day much to the amusement of other students.
Ok so there is atleast variety here unlike in my land down south where every second person could very well be a Biju,Shiju,Shiny,Shijy or Aby.
Chacko for the Dad and Ammu for the mom are nice but Chaamu for the son???Unlikely you might think but a frequent fad I'd say.So this way nice names merge into hybrids :
Timothy+Shijy=Tijy
Susan+Andrew=Ansu

Depressing? Wait there is more..how about Peenu and Gifty?I'm just hoping Peenu darling falls in love with a Esther so that their childs name metamorphosises into a Peter. Else if Gifty were to wed him..their child in all probabilty can be named "Petty" or worse still "Pity"

Worse still are cases when nice names turn out to have not so favourable meanings. Now who would have thought Jenny actually means a female donkey?I have decided..when the mantle of naming the child is thrust on my not so strong mind/shoulders..i shall definitely google it before I zero down on one!