The Exchange

Minutes slip. They slide into moments. Moments collide. Seconds spill over. Time reels out of hand.
I gasp for breath.

I don't know why I'm breathing any longer. A part of my soul I have already traded.

Some for your sake, some for yours
Some for his
Some for its
And some for ours.

Was it a good deal?

Don't tell me,
It was rhetorical.

For excuse me!
I'm the one
With no
rhetorical sense.

Wisdom for the Day

Smile on a Monday morning, because who knows, by the end of the evening you'll be frowning again.

Do not call a spade, a spade.

Mundane conversations with strangers are better than arguments with  your mother.

No matter how much you decide you won't let something bother you, it will bother you.

Ignorance is bliss, only for a while.

It all adds up...and the answer is never 42.

It takes more than a happy-songs playlist to put the spring back in your step.

Hopeless as we are, we always peg our hope on Hope.

Give me Hope, Joanna!

I miss

• Driving down roads - crowded or otherwise
• Watching countless episodes of a sitcom - back to back
• Polishing my silver earrings and bangles
• Painting my toe nails
• Laughing with my folks
• Scanning the piles of books in the pavement shops till the book beckons and finds me
• Pink colored bubble gum that came in a pink and blue wrapper. Before Boomer. 
• Shopping for saris for mom
• Drama - in all forms and sizes 
• Listening to my grandmom's stories
• Attending random film fests in the city
• The insanity of my hostel days
• Not having friends around me all the time
• The magic of comforting conversations 
• Writing, simply.( I seem to resort to boring lists very often these days) 
• Having time to think, make up, wonder
• Talking to you, you, you and you!
• The woods
• Hmm...appreciation.
• Playing hot hands
• Reading poetry
• Eating out, travelling, eating out, travelling. 
• Looking at the moon.

Gosh. It's plain and clear, a six day work week is injurious to health. 

All in a day's work

7.30 a.m. Text Received.
"Anther dull, grey, smog filled morning. How far?"
   " 10 mins away, but half hour of traffic piled up in front of me. How 'bout a sunny side up with some hash browns?"
" Wt! Why remind me of hash browns n coffee n town when you and I are caught in traffic snarls en route to work?"
   " Letssss go!"
"Pch. Duty calls. Let's bunk a working day next week for a scrumptious morning meal."
    " Deal. I can't bunk Mon, Wed, Fri absolutely. You?"
"Not Tues, Thurs, Fri.Absolutely NOT"
     "Wt the ...!"
"See you in ten. Not the hash browns for another week."

********************************************************
5.20 p.m. Tired, fed up, craving coffee and hash browns.

Day 3. Consecutive Meeting no. 3. At the same spot.
(I Flash a smile 'coz I'm a nice person and oh-so-bored)

(Familiarity could breed friends.And of course it does.)
" Hi!"
   "Hey!"
"Late today?"
   "Yeah a bit."
"No bus?"
   " Not in the last ten minutes."
"Oh!"
(hesitant silence)
"What's your name by the way?"
    "Jennifer. And you?"
(incoherent mumble)
    "Sorry?"
(a phonic jumble)
     (Very apologetically)"How do you spell it?"
"S-h-r-u-g-a-l"
   "Ah! Very unusual. What does it mean?"
"It's MY god's name. "
   "Oh. Nice."
And the bus arrives. S-h-r-u-g-a-l offers me a seat but no more talk.
Probably 'coz I didn't have a god for my namesake.
But I  thank him and his namesake for the seat :-)

****************************************************************
8.00 p.m. En route to the local grocer. Pavement.

Day 2 after a random, brief walk under the umbrella over 2 months ago.

(Again, I smile 'coz I'm a nice person and I'd forgotten familiarity breeds friends.)

"Hiiiiii!"
  "Hey."
"Should I call you didi or aunty?"
  " Neither, Jennifer. Did you reach school in time for your basket ball practice?"
"Not Basket ball. TT!! Thanks for letting me walk with you that day.
  "No problem! Which grade are you in by the way?"
"9th. Don't you stay in Silver Arch?"
  "No I don't."
"Can I have your number? I promise I won't give it to anyone.
  (puzzled) "Hahaha...but why do you want my number?"
"Arre give na. Ok, you don't want to give? Ok you store mine. Here.And my name is Nikita."
  (I feel bad) "Do one thing, I'll give you mine. And you give me a missed call, I'll save it."
"Ok!! Great! I'll add you on FB ha."

Reason no 36286352 why i like my city - It's as easy to pick up and drop a conversation with strangers as with friends.

For no apparent reason

I have no idea how this is going to write itself out. I don't have the volition to control it. I feel loop-y, i.e. like I'm in a loop. No, it's not a real word. But then, neither is zoot.

Random. Now that is a real word.

Random. [ran-duh'm]
  adjective.
proceeding, made or occurring without aim, reason or pattern: This is a random post.

of or characterizing a process of selection in which each item of a set has an equal probability of being chosen: I follow random selection to pick a channel to watch the rubbish on TV.

unknown, unidentified or out of place: I'd like to be the random person who smiles at you in a crowd.

odd and unpredictable in an amusing way:  My mean cat is usually out to scratch or bite me, but today, as I type this out, he snuggles into my lap. My cat is so random.

The randomness of being.

I plonk him on the couch.

I'd like to be utterly, absolutely, randomly random.
Some say I am.

It makes life more bearable.
For you and for me.

And my mean cat is back on my lap. May be, for him, the couch is unbearable. It smells of its previous occupant. A very smelly dog, who is now on the mean cat's rug.

Life is very random.
Check.

:)

Note to Self.

Happiness.

• Watching rain drops slide down the huge bus windows forming a transparent veil. They veil me from the traffic clogged roads and make me smile despite everything
• The phone buzzing, unexpectedly, the night I can't fall asleep
• The smell of sugary, hot adraki chai coming to a boil as I await my ride back home. The chai cascading from one tumbler into another, the chaiwala never missing a beat
• An old movie ticket
• My cute,fat sausage roll of a dog greeting me good morning with a effusive wag as I roll out of bed
• Beatles early in the morning!
• Zipping down NH4, wind in  hair, song on  lips
• My book shelf!
• The oh-so-lovely aroma of strong filter coffee as my bus swerves past Madras Cafe at King's Circle
• The unpredictability of songs on radio, AIR!
• Match boxes
• Red on my toes
• A scrumptious meal with my family
•  Paycheck!
• A smile from a stranger
• Having a conversation about nothing as I watch the rain soak the city from my favorite table at Cafe Mondegar. And of course the Juke churns a retro every other minute.Bliss.
• Silver.Shoes.Earrings.Bangles.Rings.
• Doggy-poggy. Pudding and Pie.

Happiness. It's many things. 

What we could do too

Forgetting Something
Try this—close / your eyes. No, wait, when—if—we see each other / again the first thing we should do is close our eyes—no, / first we should tie our hands to something / solid—bedpost, doorknob—otherwise they (wild birds) / might startle us / awake. Are we forgetting something? What about that / warehouse, the one beside the airport, that room / of black boxes, a man in each box? I hear / if you bring this one into the light he will not stop / crying, if you show this one a photo of his son / his eyes go dead. Turn up / the heat, turn up the song. First thing we should do / if we see each other again is to make / a cage of our bodies—inside we can place / whatever still shines.
                              - Nick Flynn

A Mood Swing

You'd blame it on the weather.
The dust, the heat, the noise, the brown.

I'd blame it on you.

A sense of doom.
Nervous anxiety?
Lethargy?

I want a book.
A good book may wash it all away.
The grime, the boredom, the inanity of a day.

Something that makes me forget.

I want a book which would remind me of yellow summers, not brown ones.
Of black roads smeared with tiny, pretty, yellow flowers.
Of huge trees dressed up in fiery, orange Flames of the forest.
Of the sweet smell of mangoes mixed with a tinge of orange.
A dash of cologne and a whiff of nicotine.
Idle banter and insolent laughter.
Match boxes and photographs.
Bus stops and ferry rides.
Cheer. 

What's it going to be then, eh?

Food-iee

I warned you about my sweet tooth!

What songs do.

You had this on shuffle!

As we live our life of ease
Everyone of us has all we need.

If I could play you a song, it would be by -

 So Happy Together

In our yellow submarine.

Sky of blue and sea of green.

:-)